Had some little chat regarding the issue of what major I should take for college with some of my guys friends.
I questioned one of them regarding one of my interests and after a while, they decided that I shouldn’t be overthinking about what I should do or study since my “nature” is to marry some nice guy and get prosper due to his prosperity. One of my “supposedly” main goal in college is to find that Mr. Right for my future.
And they moved on to their side of issue which mentioning on how hard it is to be a guy that women expect to be great. And their preference to have all-girls children since girls will be ensured by their later-future-husbands so the dads (in this case, possibly my guy friends) will have no worries.
I was not up to debate all day long about my pretty much realistic and not overly idealistic future and hoping that they will change their perspective on the issue (instead, they might mark me as an over-idealistic girl), although I did try to bring some ideas that their definition of woman is what THEY expect to be true, and sadly, I am not considering to fulfill their expectation.
Nevertheless, as my wise , wise old man had taught me just recently, the power of replying does not come when you reply immediately, but comes when you have thought about it carefully and written it down wisely, so here I am, trying to make some arguments regarding the issues while hoping that my dear friends (not in a sarcastic mean, I do dear them) will someday stumble upon this very writings.
First, the stereotype is wrong. So wrong that people still try to believe that it’s true. What happened to us in our historical revolution is not because of “fate”. Why women were so submissive in the past, is not because it’s our fate, but the lack of acknowledgement from the other party concerning our same standings as human beings. Men and women are made for different functions, but not different status. We were not made to be less humane that men are. And did you see what happened after that? We educated ourselves to push through. To gain recognition, since (most of) the men back then did not give any. Look where it brought us today. More reasons to be able to stand a same job with the other gender, be more equally in terms of educations, etc. Our society needs the push to understand that the stereotype saying “women are born to reproduce and take care” is wrong. So wrong. Our submissiveness is not because of our nature, but denial. And what’s more pitiful is the fact that the society still thinks that women are submissive, after all of our history throughout declining the idea of slavery and not-equal, we intentionally and unintentionally accept the non-egalitarian term within ourselves.
Regarding the “being the great guy”,
I don’t really have any objective with the term “great” except this adjective does not only describe a single gender, but all. I personally will pity myself if I ever expect to find my right guy in order to survive life. I and my fellow friends are striving hard in order to survive and we are not letting some okay person to be our comrades. I will be seek out by those who feel the need of me.
So for all the great people out there, stop saying as if you are the only one who is trying to work your way out to a great future, as if you’re the only one who’s having worries of what to expect tomorrow. We are also dreaming and achieving big, big, things. Including myself. Both of us have some great future to work on. Both.
“Why are we here?
Why do we even bother to be a part of this?
Why this has to come to an existence?
Why we live in this universe?
Why I should exist in the first place?”
– If I were Katniss
“Kalau jodoh, pasti akan memantul kembali dan berpapasan jalan.”
– Untuk tempat bekal Weston.
When Loneliness Strikes
I despise it.
The very moment when your soundful, mass, irritating, crowded time got struck by it.
Into a deep, long despair of soundless, rhymeless, and hopeless universe.
When loneliness strikes.
The difference is surfacing as you blink,
And it may harm your soul, your mind, the exact moment when you realize, it’s only you who resonates.
And when loneliness strikes,
You were thrown into long line of possibilities, deep thoughts about how the world is actually about, and other things that may seem useful yet, they are not concerning about you.
You are screaming in your own motionless air.
And then, when loneliness strikes,
You jumped into your own self-built time machine to those exact moment when the crowds irritated you.
When they made you smile.
When they made you think.
When they made you forget what life is about to do to you.
When they made you love the “right now”.
And in the end, when loneliness strikes,
You went back to the state where yesterday, two seconds ago, two blinks ago,
Were just illusions, as if they never happened in the first place.
And they indeed made you feel that you are actually, eventually, sadly, alone.
I stumbled upon some random news about a Russian teenage girl that auctioned her virginity because the need of money.
What matters to me is not the fact that she has auctioned something that she claimed to be her most precious possession (which to me as well) because simply, I don’t think I’m in the position to judge whatever she has decided about her life or what she’s done to her utmost treasure. Or the fact that she’s going to let someone who has won her auction to be her “first” one (not that I really care, but then at some point, if it was me…), and the possibility that this guy may be some runaway criminal or corruptor that tries to laundry money through buying her utmost possession. These are important issues, but let alone the decision she’s made with herself. I’m not writing this up to talk about that.
But what bothers me is the fact that the news article defines “losing your virginity” as an act of “deflowering” yourself. This writer may not be the first to use the term, I bet everybody uses the word casually as they think that losing your virginity (for women, or men as well, I guess) by any means you are killing your what-so-called flower.
Although it bugs me. What’s with the society who still determines whether you’re a ‘flower’ or not based on the existence of your virginity? What’s with the society who upholds the fact that those who are losing their virginity in the right way sit slightly higher than those who have use it wrong?
You don’t create classes based on your virginity. I believe that the concept of deflowering simply tries to categorize and excluding those who have lost their virginity to those who have not. It generalizes those who are the victims of sexual assaults, those who have sexual intercourse, etc. into a group of “not a flower anymore”. Another social gap, by simple matter. Another way to put yourself higher than someone else. Another way to say “at least I’m better.”
You’re a beauty despite however you treasure your virginity. Or how you lose it. How the society thinks about your personal belongings does not determine who you are, or reject your sense of pride, dignity. You determine who you are. Not us, not them.
The huge, leather shoes that stood still for hours. I was attracted to those.
The man appealed among those who stood and stayed. His bronze and curly hair puffed out of the crowd and till the very last, his fancy shoes appealed to the ground. I was collecting the coins and some of the kindness that has been offered through the townspeople when his heavy-breathed with hints of heavy coughing voice buzzing through the wind.
“It was good.”
Hints of heavy accent. French, I assumed?
“It’s an honor,” I replied without looking directly to his face.
“Oh, a Russian.”
“Wouldn’t it be nice to live a life with unlimited kitchen utensils any ingredients? …except, you need to know how to cook first.”
– Today’s dilemma.
“It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”